Exiled Pt 1 - DAvid Wept More

Sermon Manuscript

Aug 3

This sermon was preached at Immanuel Fellowship Church in Ellisville Missouri as part of our "Exiled" series within 1 Samuel, exploring David’s time in exile before he took the throne. For more resources on faith and Christian living, visit our website or connect with our community.

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Good morning! It is a joy to be up here with you all today.

1 Samuel has always been one of my favorite story portions of Scripture, so it has been a lot of fun for me that we are going through this text. Plus, I think it has been really good for my heart.

Today we are opening our new series, Exiled: God’s Path in the Badlands, and we are going to be in 1 Samuel chapter 20. Go ahead and turn there in your Bibles. If you don’t have a Bible, please use one of the copies under the chairs at the end of the rows. We believe in access to God’s Word, so if you don’t own a Bible, please take one of ours home, or let us know and we will get you a fresh copy!

Catching Up on the Story So Far

If you missed last week, let’s quickly get up to speed.

King Saul, the first king of Israel, has tried to kill David several times. You would think just one attempt would make David run, but since it was the king, it took multiple attempts for David to finally flee. He went to the prophet Samuel at Ramah, hoping Samuel could hide him.

Saul sent multiple groups of men to Ramah to arrest David. However, Samuel was hosting a gathering of prophets, and God filled all of the men sent to arrest David with the Spirit—and they joined the prophets in prophesying! Finally, Saul himself came. But Saul (who is more than a little crazy at this point) strips off his clothes and lies down in front of Samuel, raving like a madman in his prophesying. That gives David the time he needs to leave Ramah.

That is where our story picks up. This is a long chapter, so let’s take it in smaller pieces.

Father, we come before You today needing Your Word to shape us. Open our eyes to the beauty of Your gospel, show us what true, Christlike love looks like in our relationships, and shape our hearts to reflect Jesus. In His name we pray. Amen.

Part 1: The Desperate Plea (1 Samuel 20:1–4)

David fled from Naioth in Ramah and came to Jonathan and asked, “What have I done? What did I do wrong? How have I sinned against your father so that he wants to take my life?”
Jonathan said to him, “No, you won’t die. Listen, my father doesn’t do anything, great or small, without telling me. So why would he hide this matter from me? This can’t be true.”
But David said, “Your father certainly knows that I have found favor with you. He has said, ‘Jonathan must not know of this, or else he will be grieved.’” David also swore, “As surely as the Lord lives and as you yourself live, there is but a step between me and death.”
Jonathan said to David, “Whatever you say, I will do for you.”

David flees to his last hope: Jonathan, Saul’s son.

In the previous chapter, Jonathan confronted his father about his attempts to kill David, and Saul swore an oath that he wouldn’t try again. So Jonathan has been left out of the loop regarding this latest attempt. He doesn’t want to believe this about his father—he still loves his dad.

But David is desperate. You can feel the desperation in his voice. He swears to Jonathan that "there is but a step between me and death." Seeing his friend's anguish, Jonathan promises to help.

Part 2: The Secret Plan (1 Samuel 20:5–24)

So David told him, “Look, tomorrow is the New Moon, and I’m supposed to sit down and eat with the king. Instead, let me go, and I’ll hide in the countryside for the next two nights. If your father misses me at all, say, ‘David urgently requested my permission to go quickly to his hometown, Bethlehem, for an annual sacrifice there involving the whole clan.’ If he says, ‘Good,’ then your servant is safe, but if he becomes angry, you will know he has evil intentions..."
Jonathan responded, “No! If I ever find out my father has evil intentions against you, wouldn’t I tell you about it?”
...So both of them went out to the countryside. "By the Lord, the God of Israel, I will sound out my father by this time tomorrow or the next day... If my father intends to bring evil on you, may the Lord punish Jonathan and do so severely if I do not tell you and send you away so you may leave safely... If I continue to live, show me kindness from the Lord, but if I die, don’t ever withdraw your kindness from my household—not even when the Lord cuts off every one of David’s enemies from the face of the earth.”
Then Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David... Jonathan once again swore to David in his love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.

Shakespeare has got nothing on our boy David and this drama!

David hatches a test. He is expected at the king's New Moon feast. Missing it without a valid reason is shameful before the king. But David wants Jonathan to see Saul's true reaction, so they use the excuse that David went home to Bethlehem for a family sacrifice. If Saul is fine with it, David is safe. If Saul explodes, his evil intentions are clear.

David throws himself on the mercy of the covenant he and Jonathan previously made. Jonathan affirms his devotion, and they head out to the countryside—away from city walls and potential spies.

Knowing Saul likely has informants in his household, Jonathan devises a signal system using archery:

He will shoot three arrows near the rock Ezel.
He'll send a servant boy to fetch them.
If he tells the boy, "The arrows are on this side of you," David is safe.
If he shouts, "Look, the arrows are beyond you!" it means the Lord is sending David away into exile.

Notice that Jonathan makes a covenant not just for himself, but for his family and descendants. He asks David to preserve his household when David eventually comes into power. The text emphasizes that Jonathan swore this "because he loved him as he loved himself."

Part 3: The Spear and the Arrow (1 Samuel 20:25–42)

At the New Moon, the king sat down to eat the meal... David’s place was empty. Saul did not say anything that day because he thought, “Something unexpected has happened; he must be ceremonially unclean...”
However, the day after the New Moon, the second day, David’s place was still empty, and Saul asked his son Jonathan, “Why didn’t Jesse’s son come to the meal either yesterday or today?”
Jonathan answered, “David asked for my permission to go to Bethlehem...”
Then Saul became angry with Jonathan and shouted, “You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don’t I know that you are siding with Jesse’s son to your own shame... Every day Jesse’s son lives on earth you and your kingship are not secure. Now send for him and bring him to me—he must die!”
Jonathan answered his father back, “Why is he to be killed? What has he done?”
Then Saul threw his spear at Jonathan to kill him, so he knew that his father was determined to kill David. He got up from the table fiercely angry... for he was grieved because of his father’s shameful behavior toward David.

On the second night of the feast, Saul questions David's absence. Jonathan gives their pre-planned excuse, and Saul explodes. We get some of history’s first recorded "Your Momma" insults from Saul!

When Jonathan tries to defend David, Saul’s rage overflows and he hurls his spear at his own son. (Note: Saul is no more successful at killing Jonathan with a spear than he was at killing David. God continues to protect people from Saul's terrible aim!)

Fiercely angry and grieving his father's shameful behavior, Jonathan leaves the table. The next morning, he goes out to the field with a young servant boy and shoots the arrow beyond the boy—the signal that David must run.

After sending the servant back to the city with his equipment, Jonathan and David risk one final face-to-face meeting:

When the servant had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone Ezel, fell facedown to the ground, and paid homage three times. Then he and Jonathan kissed each other and wept with each other, though David wept more.
Jonathan then said to David, “Go in the assurance the two of us pledged in the name of the Lord when we said, ‘The Lord will be a witness between you and me and between my offspring and your offspring forever.’” Then David left, and Jonathan went into the city.

This is a tragic transition. David must flee his homeland and leave behind the people who love him. Aside from one brief encounter in a later chapter, this is the last time David and Jonathan will ever see each other.

Re-Examining Jonathan: A Model of Christlike Love

The main truth we see playing out in this text is simple:

Life is not about what we achieve, but about how well we reflect the love of Jesus to those around us.

Jonathan often gets the short end of the stick in popular teaching. At best, he’s viewed as a minor side character; at worst, modern secular culture tries to warp their friendship into something romantic.

What a silly treatment of a figure whom the Bible presents as a powerful, honorable, Christlike man!

Before David ever killed Goliath, Jonathan was already a feared warrior. He single-handedly attacked a Philistine garrison of 20 men and led Israel to a massive victory at Michmash.

Furthermore, Jonathan was faithful to God and faithful to honor his father. Despite Saul’s poor choices, Jonathan continued to respect him, serve under him, and give him the benefit of the doubt. Yet, Jonathan wasn't a doormat—he was the only man in Israel brave enough to confront King Saul to his face, knowing full well Saul was prone to violent rages.

Jonathan proved his honor, faithfulness, and love time and time again. He isn't just a side character; he is an example to emulate.

What About Their Friendship?

Skeptics often try to reframe David and Jonathan’s intimacy. But the Hebrew word consistently used for the love between them is hesed—a word that almost never refers to romantic or sexual attraction, but rather to a covenantal, loyal, committed relational love.

When David later laments Jonathan’s death, saying, "Your love for me was more wondrous than the love of women," he is using poetic language to contrast Jonathan's unconditional loyalty with the political games surrounding his marriages.

Saul offered his oldest daughter to David and then gave her to someone else.
Saul offered Michal as a trap to get David killed.
In contrast, Jonathan’s friendship was freely given—with no strings attached, no hidden motives, and no political leverage.

Of course David valued the selfless, sacrificial love of his best friend above the manipulative political arrangements of his early marriages!

Our Culture’s Fear of Emotional Intimacy

Why does our culture try to twist a friendship like this? Because sin has warped our understanding of healthy relationships.

We live in a culture plagued by loneliness. Yet, we’re taught to believe that emotional vulnerability and physical affection belong only in romantic or sexual relationships.

The Bible presents a dramatically different view. God built us for deep relational intimacy, emotional closeness, and community.

While marriage is a high calling, the Scriptures spend far more time instructing us on how to walk in deep, intimate, sacrificial relationships as believers—as friends, brothers, and sisters in Christ.

David and Jonathan's friendship makes modern people uncomfortable because our sinful nature is terrified of genuine, unselfish vulnerability.

3 Ways Jonathan Reflects the Love of Jesus

How does Jonathan’s love mirror the love of Christ? 1 Corinthians 13 gives us a clear picture of what love looks like, and Jonathan models it remarkably well:

1. He Keeps No Record of Wrongs

Jonathan knew his father had tried to kill David previously. Yet, he still wanted to show patience, honor his father, and give him the benefit of the doubt one last time. He was patient and kind, even when a distressed David repeatedly questioned Jonathan’s loyalty.

2. He Is Steadfast

Jonathan was willing to stick by David regardless of the personal cost. It would have been easy to say, "Look David, this is between you and my dad. I can't get involved." Instead, he risked his own life, faced his father's flying spear, and remained fiercely loyal to David through his exile.

3. He Is Humble (He Does Not Seek His Own Position)

This is the most powerful reflection of Christ in Jonathan's life.

By all worldly standards, Jonathan had the most to lose by helping David. Jonathan was the crown prince! The throne of Israel was his by birthright.

Yet, Jonathan voluntarily recognized God’s anointing on David. He covenanted with David, happily agreeing to step back and serve as David’s second-in-command. He surrendered his own ambition, status, and worldly success out of love for David and submission to God.

Jonathan displayed the exact heart described in the famous hymn of Philippians 2:3–8:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.
Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be exploited. Instead he emptied himself by assuming the form of a servant... He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death—even to death on a cross.

Experiencing Jesus' Love Through One Another

By worldly standards, Jesus’ life looked like a failure: He wasn't wealthy, He didn't hold political office, He wasn't married, and by the end of His life, His followers had abandoned Him.

Yet Jesus accomplished everything He came to do. He defeated sin, death, and Satan. And how did He do it? By calling us His friends and laying down His life for us (John 15:12–15).

If you are a believer in Jesus, Galatians 2:20 says that you have been crucified with Christ. Your old life is gone. You are called to redefine success.

Success is no longer about climbing a ladder, gaining status, or selfishly building your own kingdom. Success is learning to reflect the radical, humble, sacrificial love of Jesus to the people around you.

Are you feeling alone, isolated, or disconnected? Do you struggle to feel God's love?

Here is a profound truth: Jesus designed you to experience His love THROUGH OTHER BELIEVERS.

When you are filled with the Holy Spirit, God uses you as a vessel to pour His love, comfort, and friendship into others. And in a healthy church body, others pour that exact same Christlike love back into you.

Examining Our Motivations

Jonathan demonstrates that seeking his own position and glory simply wasn't important to him. What mattered was committing himself to loving David and honoring God.

Wherever you are in life right now, ask yourself:

How well am I loving the people God has placed around me?
Do I prioritize personal goals and achievements over cultivating deep, committed relationships?
Am I showing the kind of humility that puts others first, or am I constantly protecting my own status and comfort?
Do I hold onto grudges, or am I steadfast and quick to extend grace?

The love Jonathan showed—and the love Jesus commands—is radical. It doesn't look like the world's self-serving version of love. It is deeper, humbler, and far more costly.

Let’s take time this week to ask Jesus to dig deep into our hearts, strip away our selfish ambitions, and fill us with a love that reflects Him to a lonely world.