You Can't Experience Forgiveness If You Won't Confess Your Sin

Why deflection keeps us from the grace God freely offers

I have a certain child who shall remain nameless for the purposes of this blog. And we have the same conversation every single time they get in trouble. Every. Single. Time.

"Why did you hit your sibling?"

"Well, they started it."

"Why are you disobeying me?"

"Well, you made me angry."

And on and on it goes.

This child has a really, really, really hard time dealing with their own shame and with the exposure that comes from being in trouble. So they do everything they can to deflect. It has to be someone else's fault. Surely this trouble is someone else's mistake. Surely if we just look hard enough, we'll find that someone, anyone, else is actually to blame here. And if you’ve ever been a parent of a 6 year old, this probably isn’t all that surprising.

But how much did that resonate with your experience of faith and your connection with God?

Yeah. Me too.

We All Do This

We all do this! At least sometimes. We don't want to be the screw-up. So we deflect. We put our sin off on other people. We've been doing this since the Garden of Eden, haven't we?

Adam: "The woman YOU gave me, she made me do it."

Eve: "The serpent deceived me."

It's never our fault. There's always someone else to blame. Always some circumstance that forced our hand. Always some reason why we had to do what we did. And it always makes sense in the moment right?

And listen, I get it. I really do. Confession is hard. Owning our sin is painful. Looking in the mirror and saying, "I am the problem here.” (apologies to Taylor Swift) That's one of the hardest things a human being has do.

Because when we confess, we have to face our shame. We have to acknowledge that we're not who we want to be. We have to admit that we're broken and sinful and in desperate need of help.

And our pride hates that. Our flesh recoils from it. Everything in us wants to find a way to make it someone else's fault.

The Problem with Deflection

But here's the deal, that's not how the Gospel works. Period. It's not how the Gospel works. That's not how God relates to us.

And this is as true for my kid as it is for us. We worship a God of never-ending grace and patience. But He will not lie and He will not accept excuses. Let me say that again because it's so important: God will not accept excuses.

Not because He's harsh or unloving. But because excuses keep us from experiencing the very thing our souls are desperate for: forgiveness.

Think about it for a second. Really think about it.

If you refuse to acknowledge your sin, if you plant your heels and say, "This is not my fault," you can never experience forgiveness.

Not because God isn't offering forgiveness. He is. He's offering it freely and abundantly and eternally.

But if it's not your fault, you haven't sinned. And if you haven't sinned, there's nothing to forgive.

You are putting yourself outside the beautiful gift of the Gospel.

Do you see what's happening here? When we deflect, when we make excuses, when we blame everyone and everything else for our sin, we're not protecting ourselves. We're actually cutting ourselves off from the one thing that can heal us.

We're standing outside in the cold, refusing to come in where it's warm, insisting that we're not actually cold at all.

The Standard Is Repentance

This last Sunday, we looked at the story of Saul’s failure in 1 Samuel 13. This truth was on full display for King Saul. He deflected and avoided and refused to confess. And in refusing to confess, he could not truly repent. And here’s the problem with that: Repentance is the standard. Period.

Repentance is the standard.

You turn back to God, you confess, you repent, you own what you've done, you own your guilt, and you fall down on the love and mercy of God. And when you do that, you will receive forgiveness and restoration.

That's how it works. That's how it's always worked.

This is the entire message of Deuteronomy 28 and 29. God lays out the blessings for following covenant and the curses for breaking covenant. And then at the end of Deuteronomy 29, He says something beautiful:

If you ever get tired of those curses, if you're ever sitting there going, 'Man, being out of God's favor is terrible,' do you know what you do? You confess and you repent. And you turn to God with your whole heart and you know what He does? He forgives you. And He restores you to His covenant blessing forever and eternally. 100%. That's how it works.

Confession and repentance. That's the path back to God. That's the path to experiencing His grace.

But the standard is repentance. Which means when we deflect, when we refuse to confess, when we dig in on the idea that our sin is really someone else's fault, then we, like my child, cannot actually experience forgiveness.

What's Actually Waiting for You

And that is completely and totally unnecessary.

You don't have to live like this. You don't have to stay outside in the cold. You don't have to keep deflecting and making excuses and carrying the weight of unconfessed sin.

Because do you know what is found when we confess our guilt and come to our Lord for mercy in confession and repentance?

Grace and forgiveness. Every time.

Grace that abounds. Forgiveness that never ends. Love that literally makes the universe work.

That's what's found in our confession and our repentance.

Not condemnation. Not rejection. Not shame.

Grace. Forgiveness. Love.

There is no reason to hide, to deflect, to live in shame.

None. Zero. Not one single reason.

Because God is not waiting to crush you when you confess. He's waiting to embrace you. He's waiting to forgive you. He's waiting to restore you.

The Difference Between Saul and David

This is the difference between King Saul and King David in the Bible. Both of these men were kings of Israel. Both of them sinned. Both of them failed. Both of them did things that were wrong. In fact, if we're being honest, the worst things David did were on par or even worse than the worst things Saul did.

So why is David called "a man after God's own heart" while Saul loses his kingdom?

The difference between David and Saul is not that Saul's a bad dude and David's a good dude.

The difference between David and Saul is that Saul refused to acknowledge his sin and refused to engage the grace of God and restoration to covenant. David is a man who lived in confession and repentance. He was a sinful, broken man who, when confronted with his sin, bore it all before the Lord and fell at the feet of Christ seeking forgiveness.

That's the difference.

When the prophet Nathan confronted David about his sin with Bathsheba, David didn't make excuses. He didn't blame Bathsheba for being beautiful. He didn't blame Uriah for being in the way. He didn't blame his circumstances or his stress or his position as king.

He said, "I have sinned against the Lord."

And then he wrote Psalm 51, one of the most beautiful prayers of confession and repentance in all of Scripture:

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me."

That's repentance. That's what it looks like to own your sin and fall on the mercy of God.

And you know what God did? He forgave David. He restored David. He continued to use David. He called David a man after His own heart.

Not because David was perfect. But because David knew how to repent.

This Is for You Today

We need to be challenged by this truth today. You and I need to live with an honest confession so that we can actually experience real repentance and the real freedom that comes with Christ's forgiveness.

You've been deflecting. You've been making excuses. You've been blaming your spouse, your parents, your circumstances, your past, your stress, your workload, your kids, your boss… anyone and anything except yourself.

And you're exhausted.

You're exhausted from carrying the weight of unconfessed sin. You're exhausted from the mental gymnastics it takes to keep convincing yourself it's not your fault. You're exhausted from living outside the grace that God is freely offering you.

And I want you to hear this with all the pastoral care I can muster: You don't have to live like this anymore.

You can stop deflecting. You can stop making excuses. You can stop hiding.

You can come to Jesus right now, in this moment, and confess your sin. You can own it. You can say, "This is my fault. I did this. I am guilty. I need forgiveness."

And do you know what will happen?

He will forgive you.

Not because you deserve it. Not because you've earned it. Not because you've finally gotten your act together. But because that's who He is. That's what He does. That's the entire point of the Gospel. See, the Gospel isn't primarily about behavior modification. It's not primarily about becoming a better person or getting your life together or finally conquering that sin you've been struggling with.

The Gospel is about forgiveness.

A Personal Challenge

I started this post talking about my child who deflects every time they get in trouble. And the truth is, as easy as it is to call this out in my kid, I see myself in that child every single day. I deflect. I make excuses. I blame my others. And every time I do it, I'm putting myself outside the experience of the grace that God is freely offering me. So let me end with a personal challenge for both of us.

Is there sin in your life right now that you've been deflecting instead of confessing?

Is there an area where you've been making excuses instead of owning your guilt?

I want to invite you to stop.

Just stop.

Stop deflecting. Stop making excuses. Stop hiding. Come to Jesus in honest confession.

Tell Him the truth. Own your sin. Acknowledge your guilt. Fall on His mercy.

And then, and this is the beautiful part, receive His forgiveness.

Receive His grace.

Receive His love.

Receive the freedom that comes with confession and repentance.

Because here's what I know to be true: The hope of the Gospel will not disappoint. When you come to Jesus in confession and repentance, you will not find condemnation. You will find grace. You will not find rejection. You will find acceptance. You will not find shame. You will find freedom.

Because that's who Jesus is. That's what He does. That's the entire point of the Gospel.

Connect With Us

Immanuel Fellowship Church

We're a church in Ellisville Missouri that believes in the power of the gospel to transform lives. If you're in the area, we'd love to have you join us on Sunday mornings. Come as you are. Bring your questions. Bring your doubts. Bring your struggles. I can promise we’ll welcome you and we'll do our level best to point you to Jesus.

Questions? Want to talk? Email me at hello@ifcstl.com or call/text me at (636) 431 4708 I'd love to hear from you.